Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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