lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
