i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Randomize
