there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
