K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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