from now on my penis is your penis
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
