you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
