she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
