I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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