Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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