do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
