six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
