she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I deserve this hangover.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
