I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize