thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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