why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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