I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
