chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
