I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
