i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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