Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
