we have pet lesbian snakes
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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