I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
