My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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