We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
