doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
