It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
