he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
