Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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