Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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