the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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