So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
