I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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