Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
