she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
this beer tastes like vomit already
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
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DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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