meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
