Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
