Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
