my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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