We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm both gender and math confused
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize