I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
