Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
