well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
They have beer where we have blood.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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