I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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