Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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