his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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