I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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