You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
