I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
