It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
