Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
