How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
