i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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