I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is wine microwaveable?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
