id be glad to
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
