Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
dude. I can hear the air.
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