My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
