my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
