Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
