Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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